• Home
  • Pregnancy
    • Becoming Pregnant
    • First Trimester
    • Second Trimester
    • Third Trimester
    • Delivery/Postpartum
  • Children
    • Infant
    • Toddler
    • Preschool
    • School Age
  • Motherhood
    • Self-Care
    • Home Life
    • Work-Life Balance
    • Married Life
    • Style
  • Contact
  • About Me
  • Privacy Policy

A real family that parents can relate to

Categories: First Trimester, Pregnancy, Second Trimester, Third Trimester

22 Questions You Should be Asking Your Insurance Company When You’re Pregnant

Insurance is such a pain, isn’t it? There are so many stipulations and loopholes that it almost makes you wonder if it’s even worth it. How do you even begin to know what questions to ask. Not to mention how to estimate what the cost of having a baby even is!

These costs are exactly why you should be reaching out to your insurance company. Maybe you just found out you’re pregnant and are trying to get ahead of the game. Or maybe you just found out that you were supposed to call your insurance company and you are in your second trimester.

If you read my Ultimate First Trimester Checklist, then you know that calling your insurance company is one of the most important things you can do during your first trimester. However it is never too late to call insurance.

african-american pregnant woman on the phone with insurance company smiling in bed holding her belly
Calling your insurance company earlier in
pregnancy and reduce unnecessary stress later

Why you should call your insurance company earlier

Whatever the case may be, you need to call your insurance company as soon as possible once you find out you are pregnant. Some insurance companies require that you enroll in their maternity program before any benefits are paid out.

And some insurance company’s won’t cover your pregnancy at all if you didn’t let them know within a certain period of time. Even if you called your insurance company early, there may be some questions that you didn’t know you should ask. 

You may even realize that you can benefit extra because of the time period you called. I found out that with our insurance company we can get one free breast pump per year and that there are no stipulations to how early in the pregnancy we could order a breast pump. Not everyone is that lucky. So I ordered one in December and will be ordering another one here in February! It gives me extra pieces and I plan to keep one upstairs and one downstairs. 

Sweet deal, huh?

Medela breast pump example of pump that can be covered by insurance company
I was able to get two breast pumps covered by insurance!

Where should I keep documentation?

Ideally, you want to keep this somewhere that you have easy access to. A filing cabinet in your health folder, a pregnancy binder, or even on your phone. You want this easily accessible in case you need to quickly reference anything in case of an emergency.

The last thing you want is to be delivering earlier than expected and you are burdened with the cost of care from NICU and extra hospital costs because you didn’t get that pre-authorization that may be required (more on this later). 

I personally keep mine in my pregnancy binder, because if anything comes up about insurance in regards to my pregnancy I have a copy of all of my other pregnancy-related information. 

If you print out my Insurance Questionnaire, you’ll see there is a spot at the bottom for the name of the representative you spoke with, the date, and the confirmation or reference number. This is just in case you have follow-up questions or were told incorrect information that you have all your bases covered.  

The above information is also essential for any questions about your insurance, and you should ask for this information every time you speak with a representative. 

 10 Questions to Ask Your Insurance Company

  1. When do you consider me pregnant and when do you start paying out maternity benefits? (My insurance, for example, my first appointment was a standard $30 co-pay to confirm my pregnancy. Once confirmed and sent to insurance, my maternity benefits kicked in and I had zero co-pays for the rest of the appointments). 
  2. Do I have a choice of a midwife, doula, or standard OBGYN?
  3. Does coverage change if I birth from home, a birthing center, or a hospital?
  4. Are voluntary tests or procedures (such as additional ultrasounds) covered?
  5. What are my deductibles and/or copays?
  6. Is a cesarean covered differently than vaginal birth?
  7. When is my baby covered under insurance?
  8. Are any parenting or childbirth/labor classes covered? 
  9. Does insurance supply or cover the cost of a breast pump? 
  10. Are circumcisions covered? 

22 Questions to Ask Your Insurance Company

Looking for the full list of 22 questions you should ask your insurance company? Click here to download the printable list for you to keep for your records! Whether you keep it on your phone or store it in your pregnancy binder, make sure you keep your answers somewhere easily accessible. 

Have any of you come across other questions or situations that are not listed in this questionnaire? If so, let us know in the comments below! I would love to update and make this questionnaire as helpful as possible.

Categories: Pregnancy, Second Trimester, Third Trimester

3 Alternative Baby Shower Ideas During COVID

It’s needless to say that this pandemic has changed everything. Ever since COVID the world has been turned upside down. For many soon-to-be moms, this means we feel left out in some common pregnancy events. From missing out spouses unable to be in appointment rooms to having an influx of visitors at the hospital on the day of delivery. Even baby showers during COVID were more rare towards the beginning of the pandemic.

There are a variety of affiliate links in this post. As an affiliate, I earn from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you. However, I ONLY recommend products that I have used myself or that is as similar as possible to help make life easier for you.

The good news is that with the power of technology and creativity, we are more capable than ever to feel connected to those that we love. Now if you read my Ultimate Second Trimester Checklist post, then you may already have asked someone to help you with your baby shower. If you haven’t, I highly suggest you check it out for some other key to-do’s you may be forgetting in your pregnancy. Even if you haven’t asked someone for help, these are simple ideas that even an expecting mother can handle. FYI, I planned my entire baby shower during COVID and I cannot wait to post about it!

Here are 3 unique ways to make sure you still get the optimal baby shower experience! 

1) Virtual baby shower

This is what our family is personally doing. We have family from California to Florida and in between (and we live right in the middle in Colorado). So traveling for a baby shower during COVID (or even normally) just simply isn’t possible. With the help of this amazing website called Webbabyshower.com, we have a complete and private baby shower website for us and our guests. This means no unwanted strangers seeing your video conference and private information. 

With a custom URL tag, personalized web theme, online baby shower games, a guest book for visitors, and a private video conference link sent out via email to all your guests; you will feel just as connected to everyone than ever.

screenshot of webbabyshower.com homepage of a person's virtual baby shower during COVID.

Here’s a couple of ideas to take your virtual shower experience to the next level:

  1. Send out pre-shower gift boxes to build the excitement! We put in homemade cake pops, custom pink and Blue M&M’s, and a shooter of alcohol with a tag that says “Baby Making Juice”.
  2. If you want an even more interactive virtual call, send baby bottles for people to play this classic baby shower game. Guests will chug a beverage out of a baby bottle, and the first person to finish the bottle wins! This is easy to do as long as everyone has the materials. Send a bottle in your pre-shower gift box. Make sure in the baby bottle there are typed instructions. You’ll need to mention the liquid of choice that they will be drinking (usually something harder like Coke-a-Cola), how much to fill the bottle with, and to make sure it’s ready before the shower start time! 
  3. On the day of the virtual shower, make it a little more fun. Create a draped background for your video and save all the presents for opening live on the day of! That way everyone can see your reaction and you can give a much more personable “thank you”. Don’t forget to still send a thank you card after.
View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Brittney Housley (@myhouseofhousley)

2) Drive-by baby shower

This simple concept has been growing in COVID popularity. It’s also great if you have lots of friends and family who live nearby. Invited guests will “drive-by” your baby shower location in a car parade-like fashion. Guest will get to wave and say hello from their vehicles, possibly honking or playing music.

You can ask guests to be creative and decorate their vehicles with car paint and signs. Have them blare your favorite style (after you talk to your neighbors of course). You can also create a fun sign for your front yard with some small decorations. And of course, guest can slowly get out and drop off gifts at the foot of your sidewalk/driveway if possible.

This is a much quicker option, but definitely can be one of the more exciting options when done right!

3) Appointment Style Baby Shower

I prefer this method over the drive-by shower. This concept is also nice if you have lots of family and friends who live close to where you live. Since there could be some in person contact, remember to wear masks and remember risk. This option has guests visit during a designated time slot to come by, drop off their gift, and spend a few one-on-one moments with the expecting mother.

This is probably the most similar to the original baby shower experience. Here are a few things you can do to make your shower even more special:

  1. Use Signupgenius.com to have guests reserve a time slot for their visit. They sign up for a time that you have specified (30-minute time slots for example). If you leave it up to chance with an “open house” style, more people can arrive at the same time. This causes a riskier shower experience for everyone. The service is free and will automatically close off slot times when they are full. 
  2. Create goody bags full of snacks and treats that your guests can take with them after they leave! This eliminates potential germ spread from a buffet-style table. 
  3. Decorate your front yard (or living room) to create a more energetic environment. It is a party after all! A few balloon bouquets, paper flowers, or large printed words make a big difference.

So there you have it! You can certainly add and change details to these methods and create a one of a kind baby shower experience. Don’t let the pandemic get you down! What other things have you done to create a more personable baby shower during COVID and the pandemic?

Categories: Pregnancy, Second Trimester

The Ultimate Second Trimester Checklist

Congratulations! You are in the second trimester momma! This is when many ladies feel their best and get so much accomplished. That dreaded nausea is lowering or completely gone, the constipation and cramps are hopefully dying down, and your exhaustion is lightening every day that passes by. But there are still to-do items to add to your pregnancy checklist.

There are a variety of affiliate links in this post. Some are simple referral links that people like you have access to if they are a member of a service. Some are for being an Amazon Associate. And as an Associate I earn from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you. However, I ONLY recommend products that I have used myself or that is as similar as possible to help make life easier for you.

If you haven’t already, go check out my post “The Ultimate First Trimester Checklist” to make sure there aren’t any lingering to-do’s that you haven’t completed. It’s never too late to get some of those tasks checked off!

Month 4

Week 14
  1. Start thinking about baby names! If you haven’t found out the gender just yet, this could be a good time to decide on a name for each gender. This will help alleviate any potential gender disappointment from expectations. You can read more about this topic in my post “How to Handle Gender Disappointment”. This helps you be better prepared for the unexpected.If you do know the gender (thanks to noninvasive prenatal testing), this can help when you are planning for your registry or nursery, in case you would like to request any customized items for baby or gender specific items.
  1. Start looking at used maternity clothing options. Maybe you have some friends that still have their maternity clothes, or maybe there are some thrift stores near you that you can browse. Maternity clothes can add up quickly; which is unfortunate given the short term use of the items. If you can’t find any used, try to look for some sales or sign up for notifications for sales through some common brands like Motherhood Maternity. 
  2. Announce your pregnancy! By now, those cute photos you scheduled should almost be ready from your photographer. Come up with something fun like announcement cards with a link to your online registry. Or just post all over your social media accounts. Whatever you (and your partner) decide. 
A few of our pregnancy announcement favs!
Courtesy of Colorado Lifestyle Photography
Week 15
  1. Eat smaller and more frequent meals to curb heartburn. This can also help keep your blood sugar more stable for when lightheadedness begins (if you are the lucky bearer of this common symptom). It will also help make sure you are getting enough food for your baby.
  2. Start marking and creating a plan for your job tasks to be completed when you leave work. Whether you are completely quitting or just taking a maternity leave, someone will need to tend to your tasks when you are gone. It can be especially helpful to create a guide or provide tips to some of the more tedious items of your job if it is going to someone unfamiliar. This will also give you some extra brownie points at work when you come back, or it will make sure you have a good reference if you are leaving permanently.
Week 16
  1. Start figuring out your nursery space. Do you have enough room for all of the furniture you want? If you are co-sleeping, can you fit your crib in your master bedroom like a sidecar, or will you need a separate piece of furniture. We don’t have the space to use a crib in our master bedroom this time, so we opted for a sidecar like this! Beautifully handmade and designed to last. Researching the safety and practicality of items like these can take time (and plenty of measuring). Make sure you give yourself plenty of time for what you really want the nursery to look like. 
  1. Ask friends and relatives (especially) about their birthing experiences. Every labor experience is different, and knowing many stories and scenarios can help you prepare for yours. You will experience a labor experience most similar to your family.
  2. Find a good system for your daily reminders. Keep a notepad by your bed for those final to-do’s before bed. Create reminders in your phone. Post sticky notes to your bathroom mirror. Whatever helps you to prepare to combat that dreaded pregnancy brain!
Week 17
  1. If you haven’t already, open a savings account strictly for baby expenses. We don’t mean a college fund. Think of it as an emergency baby expense account. Unexpected costs like unpurchased (or forgotten) registry items, unplanned medical complications, or even monthly living expenses can blind side you after delivery. Try being prepared by creating a separate account to draw from for all things baby related without dipping into your emergency fund.
  2. Keep taking care of your body! Around this time, you may have needed to look at alternative exercises as your belly gets bigger. Finding substitutes for crunches for example. Make sure you are comfortable. Do not compare yourself to other pregnant women who may be more fit than you. Every pregnancy is different and everyone started at a different fitness level in their pregnancy. 
pregnant woman exercising by doing a bridge glute lift.

Month 5

Week 18
  1. Nasal congestion bothering you? Pick up a cool mist humidifier for your room. This will help alleviate stuffy noses that commonly occur during pregnancy. We have this one, but will admit it worked much better in our son’s smaller 200 sq ft room. We don’t have to refill it often and it even has a little night lite built in. It does not work as well in our larger room. We have to have it on high for a few days running constantly in order for it to get to the right percentage. Then we can turn it down. If we forget to run it for even a day… we lose serious humidity that we worked so hard to gain. We also live in Colorado, so it doesn’t take a lot of work to lose humidity.
  2. Decide on whether you are going to breastfeed or formula feed, and then prepare a back up plan. Many women can’t breastfeed as long as they would have liked, or it’s not as convenient to pump as they would have hoped. Life happens and plans change. Making sure to be prepared can help emotions and execution in the future. 
Week 19
  1. Check in to the variety of childbirth and parenting classes at your disposal. Since COVID-19, many places made online classes available. Or you may prefer to attend in person to get that better instructor attention. Research what is available, and see what works best for you and your partner. There are even daddy boot camp classes out there!
  2. Speaking of classes, look at CPR classes for you and your baby. You would be surprised how different performance of CPR is and it never hurts to be ultra prepared. 
Week 20
  1. Sign up for your registry! By now you should know the gender and can add all the little details over the coming weeks for adorable nursery themes and cute outfits for your little one. Don’t forget to sign up for the larger items like car seats and furniture as well! You never know who is willing to help with those large ticket items.
  2. This is the perfect time to enlist help for your baby shower. Will you be doing a small get together at you (or your friends’) home? Will you book a party room at a restaurant? Do you have people all over the country you would like to attend and decide to do a virtual baby shower? Now is the time to think about these details so you can ask your host/party planner to complete the final details. 
Week 21
  1. Start preparing your nursery space. Clean out the room to a complete care space if you can. This will help you have a place to store and begin organizing the babies room for their arrival. By doing this now, you are less rushed and can plan for last minute items or ideas you didn’t think of, such as a closet organization system. 
  2. “Wooooooah, we’re halfway there…” Celebrate this milestone! Maybe a special dessert or dinner. A pedicure for those sore legs and feet. Make it special and celebrate what is soon to come.
  3. You may have increased in breast size (again). If so, buy another maternity/nursing bra to accommodate your growing bust. 
Week 22
  1. Start keeping track of out-of-the-ordinary bodily symptoms. Things like swollen hands and feet are signs of potential severe conditions like Preeclampsia. Your doctor will want to know about these at your next appointment. Keep track in a journal, planner, or through this free appointment tracking sheet download. It’s never too late to begin tracking your questionable symptoms, questions for your next appointment, and appointment overviews and vitals.
Sea foam green nursery design with white furniture.

Month 6

Week 23
  1. Plan a date night. If you read the first trimester checklist, then you know how important this is! If you didn’t, don’t worry. I have included it again because it is sooooo important. It’s easy to change plans and not see your partner as a commitment when it comes to fun activities. But date night is just as important as signing up for a childbirth class.

COVID-19 Edit *During the pandemic, it can seem like you don’t need a date because you are spending so much time together already. But quality time is much different than just seeing each other or talking about the budget. We love our Happily Co subscription because they give us date boxes full of activities and treats that we can do ALL at home. It makes date night at home so much more special and creative. If you want to try, click this link to explore and get $10 off your first box. The box is even cheaper than a date night out on the town and way more fun than the same ol dinner and a movie. We have made homemade ice cream, completed an at home “escape room”, played word challenge games, made coconut macaroons, played a youtube scavenger hunt, made candles, asked thought provoking questions, listened to custom playlists that come with our date boxes, and more! 

  1. If you are able, try to test drive or see in person strollers, car seats, pack and play’s, swings, and other larger items for your registry. You may not like how they operate in person and have some quirks you don’t like. 
stock image of strollers in a consignment store
Week 24
  1. Start shopping around for pediatricians. Let them know your due date, your insurance, and ask any questions about recommendations or policies they may have (like do they aggressively push the flu shot). 
  2. Begin looking into legal services for a will. While extremely grim to think about (I know) you never know what is going to happen. Even after you have passed, you can remain in control by having a will that determines your assets, what happens to your child(ren), and other important factors. 
Week 25
  1. If you do not have enough assets to cover your circumstances after death, you need life insurance until you can provide for yourself. Sign up for a term policy to cover you inexpensively until you can cover yourself with your own finances. 
  2. Start researching breast pumps if you plan to breastfeed. If you have talked to your insurance provider, then you should know the requirements for your pump to be covered or discounted. If you haven’t talked to your insurance company, download this Insurance Questionnaire to ask the right questions about your pregnancy, including coverages about your breast pump.  
Week 26
  1. Update your 401K beneficiaries.
  2. Try to finish up major furniture builds and room renovations (closet remodeling, built in book shelves, building dressers, etc.). This way you are able to begin storing and setting up the nursery with smaller items when they start arriving. 
Week 27
  1. Start thinking about your birth plan. By now, you should know what kind of facility you are delivering in. You should also know about what options the facility has for your labor process, or what can be brought to your home if you are scheduling an at home delivery. Many facilities have templates for a birth plan that list all of the available options. You will also want to think about pain relieving methods like an epidural or nitrous oxide (aka laughing gas). This birthing plan will typically be included in your hospital registration. 
  2. See if you can begin discovering your babies kick patterns. This will make it easier to know when to count regularly and determine any days that are out of the ordinary. Mark them in your pregnancy journal or appointment tracking sheet so you can talk to your provider at your following appointments.

So there you have it! 30 more things to add to your to-do list. Don’t worry, they will get knocked out before you know it! Do you have any other tips for things that should be done during the second trimester?

Categories: Motherhood, Pregnancy, Self-Care

How to Handle Gender Disappointment

Why We Had High Hopes

So here I am, 20 weeks pregnant. I’m reminiscing about my first pregnancy. I was young. They didn’t have the tests 7 years ago that they have today to find out the gender sooner.I never experienced gender disappointment because I had no expectations. Still, I did have hopes that it was a boy. Low and behold, my 100% denial worked! We had a boy. 

Fast forward 7-ish years later. I am pregnant with high hopes of having a boy. If I did, I could use some clothes again, I already know what it’s like, my son would more likely connect with a boy despite the large age difference. I just couldn’t imagine parenting a girl. I feel like I was supposed to raise boys. 

We didn’t know the gender yet despite having the non-invasive prenatal testing done around 12 weeks because I had the one doctor who doesn’t reveal the gender with that testing unless you are over the age of 35. So while all my friends are finding out at 12 weeks, I have 8 more weeks till I found out! We had 8 weeks longer to hope for a gender. 8 week longer to think of a nursery theme and a name. And 8 weeks longer to hope for a specific gender.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Brittney Housley (@myhouseofhousley)

The Truth About Gender Disappointment

And then we found out…we were having a girl. My heart was broken. I legitimately cried for 3 hours after. I will explain why I was crying in the next section. But for now, before people get judgy, let’s admit a few things: 

  1. Most families have an expectation of what gender they want. 

This is completely normal behavior and doesn’t make anyone a bad person. How many dads can you think of that hoped for a boy, just to end up having a girl? Men actual experience greater gender disappointment (in my opinion), and they are not excluded from benefiting from this post. I encourage each partner to read and/or go through this healing process together.

  1. I completely understand that there are families who would be over the moon with either.

Some pregnancy journey’s are so long and difficult that by the time that couple finally becomes pregnant, they literally are so relieved to have a successful pregnancy that gender doesn’t matter. 

I am very thankful and blessed that I did not have any trouble conceiving the first time (hello surprise 21 year old pregnancy) and tried for 5 months with our second. This means I wasn’t used to any other disappointments in my pregnancies. I’ll explain why this matter below.  

  1. It is 100% normal to be disappointed about the gender of your baby not being what you hoped. 

There is nothing psychologically wrong with you. You are not a bad person. You are not going to be a bad parent just because you wanted a particular gender. And you will love this baby despite the gender. 

Why I was Initially Upset

Yes you read right. I cried for about 3 hours after I found out. Yes I was initially upset. But then I got more upset about my disappointment. I thought I was a terrible person for being upset about the gender reveal. All I could think was that there are probably thousands of families who had been trying for years and gone through hell on earth to even get pregnant. And here I am; crying because the gender wasn’t what I had hoped.

My hormones overtook my whole body as my grandmother badgered me about being disappointed. This made me more upset and feeling terrible about my feelings. Then my son was sad because I was sad, so he thought he was supposed to be upset about the gender (those feelings have changed now). And then my poor husband looking at me like he can’t do anything to make me feel better made me feel even worse. 

woman hiding face behind her hands
I literally just wanted to hide from everyone. I was so embarrassed by how I felt.

How I Supported Myself

So here are the actual steps I took to handle my gender disappointment. 

  1. I admitted all of the truths about gender disappointment stated in the previous section.

Like I mentioned before. Those feelings are all true and normal. You are not mentally unbalanced, selfish, or wrong for thinking anything mentioned in “The Truth About Gender Disappointment” section. 

Some women are lucky enough to have not had many struggles in their health or pregnancy journey. But that doesn’t mean that their feelings aren’t validated. They simply haven’t gone through the same struggles; and that’s ok! Do not undermine or put other women down for how they feel about this. It is only going to make the situation worse to hide how you really feel about the situation. 

Because I was honest and really processed this, I was able to come to terms within a couple of days. It may take you longer; but being honest with yourself is the first step.

  1. I thought about the real reasons I was hoping for a boy. 

Was it really the clothes? My son is 7. There is no way the baby could wear any clothes for years. We haven’t kept any except for 4-5T and up. Was it the sibling connection? My sister and I do not talk and we were the same gender and 2 years apart. Same gender and close age does not mean a close relationship. 

Was it because my first was a boy? Would I feel different if my first had been a girl? My next door neighbor is pregnant at the same time as I am (literally due the day before me). She is having a girl. Knowing she was having a girl made me feel better (and worse). She is very stylish and already has about 10 headbands with bows. She is a previous fitness instructor. Needless to say intimidating. However, I know if I need anything that I could ask her.

Was it the gender stereotype of girls nowadays? I don’t do (and never did as a child) the whole girly-girl, dolls, dress up with bows, Barbies, My Little Pony, etc. While I love femininity and yes, my favorite color is blush pink. But I also have always loved video games since our first N64 in elementary school. Playing first person shooters, collecting Pokemon cards, and later learning to hunt with a compound bow. I drink whisky (when I’m not pregnant) and truly hate wine. I work in the construction industry when I am not blogging. 

  1. Clear the idea of gender stereotypes

The above thought process led me to this realization. I never gave my son cars and boy stuff. I gave him learning and building toys growing up. Why can’t I do the same for this little girl? Who said I have to put a million coordinating headbands on her head? Where is the rule that you have to french braid hair and make her fancy everyday in order to a girl mom (I don’t even know how to french braid)?

Why did I assume all of these gender expectations when I am a huge woman’s rights activist? Everything I thought against I subconsciously still assumed in my head when I found out the gender. 

My son loves art. And until a couple of months ago, his favorite colors were pink and blue. He is very emotional. Very clingy and cuddly. He loves his stuffies and even learned to sew a pillow that we made together. He loves crafts like latch hook and doing melty beads. He loves LEGO and building with his hands. He wants to be a mechanical engineer and loves coding. Why on earth did I think that this baby girl couldn’t grow up similar? 

I can’t say it enough. Get rid of gender stereotypes. 

white, navy blue, and blush pink paper flowers with gold leaf trim from etsy.
This was our nursery inspiration. You can find it here!
  1. Start thinking of names and a nursery theme.

If you read my other post, The Ultimate Trimester Checklist, then you already thought of this. However; you may also be like me and chose a name and theme for only the gender you want (this is why I mention in my checklist to think about both genders).

Again, if you only thought about the gender you wanted, now is the time to research some names and themes. I recommend doing this after you have had the initial time to process and soothe your nerves. This will help your emotion climb back upward in a positive direction.

Obviously, I need a new theme and new name. For some reason, the vintage navy blue airplane theme just didn’t seem right to me anymore. I wanted to save that for if we did have another baby (that was a boy).

We are still deciding on names (almost final on Lilly Xandra May Housley); but the more I saw different names, the more my nerves calmed down. I wasn’t dreading having a girl and I was more at peace by finding names I liked. 

We also decided on a nursery color scheme of navy blue (to match the rest of our home) and blush pink. My son was so excited to hear that because he hoped those would be her favorite colors, just like him. I also liked it because it’s a theme that should be able to last over the years. It’s not a character, animal, or something else that could be a momentary trend. You can see our inspiration in the photo above.

  1. Think about the day you deliver your baby.

I remember everything from the day of delivery with my first. EVERYTHING. The pain, the lack of sleep, even the terrible hospital food. I can honestly say with 100% certainty that I never thought about the fact that I had a boy (until they came for the circumcision). Back then, I wasn’t focused so much on his gender, but more about how to properly take care of him after his circumcision. 

Your body, full of hormones, emotions, and probably exhaustion will not be thinking about the gender of the baby in your arms. There will be plenty of love inducing hormones soaring through your body to build that special one-of-a-kind motherly bond. You will be trying to breastfeed (or formula feed) your baby to make sure they are taken care of. Everyone will be so tired from the delivery of that baby. Even if you have a C-section, you are going to be feeling the same hormones and love for your baby. 

Be 100% confident that on that day in the hospital, gender is going to be the last thing that matters. 

man looking off while upset.
It is very common for both partners to feel gender disappointment.

We Are All In This Together

So there you have it! I know there are many parents out there who feel the same. I have spoken to many dads who had girls for their first child too. They still tell me they wouldn’t have changed it for the world. Definitely share this with your partner if they are the ones who need support, and be there for them as much as you can. 

What are some other ways that some of you have coped with gender disappointment?

pinterest image for post of how to handle gender disappointment of box spilled out of pink and blue bows and balloons for gender reveal
pinterest image for post of how to handle gender disappointment of man and woman in bed looking upset.
pinterest image for post of how to handle gender disappointment with cupcakes for a gender reveal and pink and blue pacifiers
Categories: Becoming Pregnant

How to Get Pregnant in 8 Steps

As a mom who has had one surprise baby when I was 21, to being 29 now and making a conscious decision with my husband to try for another baby; those are two vastly different ways of becoming pregnant. Of course having a surprise baby means that I didn’t have to plan when I was 21 (maybe I should have, but then I wouldn’t have my amazing son that I have now) and I never realized what I had to do to actually have a baby. 

As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you. However, I ONLY recommend products that I have used myself or that is as similar as possible to help make life easier for you. 

I never realized or appreciated the miracle of the timing and act that creating a child was. Despite not planning, my son is the love of my life (tied with my husband of course). I love him so much that we decided it was time for a sibling. I also really wanted to go through this process with my husband. He is not the biological father of our first child, but he has been a part of his life since our son was 2. So he has been there for over half of his life! From decision to conception, everything was planned and different. 

Pinterest cover photo of pregnancy announcement with baby sonogram of announcing pregnancy

The Backstory of our Pregnancy Journey

So in order to know what I did, let me first talk about our general history with trying for a child. In 2019 I decided to get an IUD because we thought the idea of children was much further out of the picture than it actually came to be. I was on the Mirena IUD for around 9 months. I also did not like the side effects of the IUD (better than the Depo..but still).

In short, it tricks your body into thinking it’s already pregnant so that you don’t get pregnant. Therefore I still had extreme backaches, swollen breasts, and complete exhaustion for 1-2 weeks out of the month. It was constant. Being pregnant now, I think I was more tired then. I had also read horror stories about women not being able to get pregnant for 2+ years or NEVER getting pregnant after the IUD. So for everything, I got it removed. I did a cleanse from the hundreds of blog posts that I read to cleanse the hormones out of my system. I drank different kinds of tea and took herbs, I got my period back after a couple of months and BAM we were in business. 

We had been trying for about 3 cycles when (due to the joys of working a full-time normal job) I lost my job unexpectedly. I also decided to compete competitively for Taekwondo. For those who don’t know, that means cutting or gaining weight (safely of course) to be in your desired weight class, extensive training, and a VERY healthy diet. Because of these things, we thought it would be wise to wait.

After waiting about 6 months (and not getting to compete because of COVID-19), we began trying again. It took 5 cycles to become pregnant. While I know for some beautiful ladies, that is not long and you are cringing at my writing as I say that. We all know everyday that goes by can feel like eternity. I am so blessed we were able to become pregnant, and I always have thoughts and prayers for the women who are still trying or unable. 

Having said that, these are 8 starter steps that you should take if you are at the beginning of your journey to get pregnant. Experienced couples may already know these things and are at stages such as speaking to a fertility doctor, or going through IVF. Always speak to your doctor before starting any new regimens, and to talk to them about your concerns.

The To-Do List for Getting Pregnant

Having said that, we all know it’s not about how many times you have sex in a month, but when you have sex during the month. I also HAVE to say, that I am not a medical professional. I am just an average woman and am telling my story of what worked for me. Always consult with your doctor or a medical professional before taking any new vitamins or starting new regimens. So with that, this is what I did to get pregnant… 

  1. Take a prenatal vitamin

This is recommended before you even decide to become pregnant. I purchased these vitamins because I took the old fashioned “one-a-day” type vitamins with my first pregnancy. You know, the big horse pill ones that smell like the WORST vitamins imaginable. It made me want to hurl every time I took them.

These vitamins not only have everything you need, but they are smaller than regular vitamins and have a special coating that makes them so easy to go down. It also comes in a 3 month supply, so you don’t have to remember to buy them all the time (which helps when that pregnancy brain kicks in). Being 100% organic and non-GMO, these are the perfect vitamins for starting your pregnancy journey.

Because we have been trying for quite a while, I continued to take these as my regular daily vitamin in between conception attempts. Folate/Folic Acid is especially important when trying to get pregnant to aid in the prevention of birth defects and neural tube deficiencies in the fetus.

Pregnant woman taking vitamin with lgass of water
Take your vitamins!
  1. Track your period. 

If you weren’t tracking your period before, you should be now. This information is the most useful for everything else that follows. How many days your period lasts + how many days before your next period = your menstrual cycle. I average 27 days, which is actually 1 day shorter than the average 28 day cycle.

Some women have shorter cycles and some have longer. Using this math, you would typically ovulate on the 14th day of your 28 day cycle. Ovulation is a whole other beast though. We’ll get to that later. 

  1. Track your temperature. 

You don’t just need any thermometer. You need one that tracks to the tenth degree (that’s two spaces after the decimal point). I ordered this basal thermometer because it also came with an app that is highly recommended throughout the fertility community. There is even a Facebook group that you can use to connect with other families!

I met a really great friend through that Facebook group and we are still in contact today. I’m so happy to hear just recently became pregnant as well. Don’t knock it till you try it! This app also allows you to track everything from PMS symptoms down to everything we are going to cover below. It is extremely thorough. 

You need to track your temperature everyday. There are many conversations on this topic that can make it overwhelming. The most important thing is to take it BEFORE you put your feet down on the floor when you wake up. This is when your temperature is at its lowest. If you get up and go to the bathroom, you won’t be able to take it after. I kept it near my pillow so I could take it while I was still laying down.

Your temperature changes throughout your cycle. Typically it is lowest during your period and highest right before your period. Your temperature dips 24-48 hours before you ovulate. Hence, why this is only good for tracking purposes and not entirely accurate for predicting ovulation. If you can track a pattern, then you can guess a little better in the future of when you are likely to ovulate.

This can be extremely sensitive to matters like room temperature, sleeping with more blankets than normal, and sleeping in a new place for example. If you cannot create a routine environment, then this may be good for you. As you will cause more anxiety and stress about your results. 

  1. Learn about your cervical mucus. 

Doesn’t that whole sentence sound disgusting? As terrible as it is, it’s highly recommended. Some women can track from the discharge on their underwear. Some women need to use clean hands to use a finger to feel in your vagina for the type of liquid. It tends to lean in order like this:

  • Beginning of the month is your period (you obviously don’t need to feel for that). 
  • Immediately after is a low fertility phase where you tend to be dry or sticky. 
  • You’ll then be in your fertile phase with a watery consistency. 
  • When you are ovulating, it will be egg white consistency. 
  • Then after ovulation, you will go back to the sticky phase.
  • And back to dry before starting the cycle all over with your period. 

This can be the most confusing part of the list. It definitely was for me. Water intake can effect your cervical mucus production. So make sure you are drinking the right amount of water! 

  1. Use LH strips. 

Yet another thing you can track when trying to get pregnant. LH stands for Luteinizing Hormone which is present immediately before ovulation. This is why it’s a great predictor of when you are ovulating. Personally, this was more accurate for me than taking my temperature. You can buy them in bulk on Amazon for extremely cheap. I personally bought these ones.

You simply dip your strip in urine (not first thing in the morning though) starting a few days after your period ends at roughly the same time everyday. This helps determine when you are about to ovulate. The strips will begin to change color (much like a pregnancy test) when it begins to detect the hormone. You can see in the photo below for example.

You want to see a “peak” reading, or when the line is at its darkest. In theory, you will ovulate 24-48 hours after a peak reading. That’s when it is really time to “get busy”. Through tracking, you will understand your readings better. Not every woman ovulates 24-48 hours hours after a peak reading. It may be more. Through tracking, you will learn more about your ovulation cycle.

Woman holding LH (ovulation) test strips comparing darkness of lines for ovulation tracking.
See how the lines on the left get darker?
  1. Track your ovulation.

There is a reason I put this almost last. Because in reality, all of these steps combined are what help you track when you are possibly ovulating. Once you do everything above, only then will you be able to accurately track your ovulation. No app or calendar knows your body better than you do. And hey, things happen. So things may change slightly every month. You may ovulate later or earlier, you may not get an LH reading, your temp can stay high the whole month because your A/C broke. The only one who knows you are truly ovulating is you.

  1. Use Pre-Seed

Like I said, we were trying for a few cycles before and after my job loss. I feel like I just never got that egg white consistency in my cervical mucus. I knew that because I tracked it. Of course I went to Pinterest and learned so many women were using this miracle liquid. You may not know that it is discouraged to use lube when you are trying to get pregnant. It can interfere with that perfect environment mother nature created to allow sperm to travel through your cervix. But even mother nature needs a little help sometimes.

This lube is one of the few safe lubricants that is specifically designed to help you get pregnant. I used it 2x during my last cycle before I got pregnant after I got my peak LH reading. It was a couple of weeks later I took my test (well 3 tests actually) and got my positive result! I swear that THIS is what helped most of all for me.

  1. Eat a healthy diet

As I mentioned earlier, I was already eating well because of my exercise regimen with Taekwondo. There are countless fertility diets out there that may be worth looking into. I simply was eating well, limiting caffeine (I switched to decaf a couple of years ago), removing artificial sugars, and limiting the amount of take out we had. I think this was enough for me to create a healthy system. Again, speak with your doctor or healthcare provider about changes like these. 

Pregnant woman meal prepping healthy food in kitchen at home.
Eating healthy now can set you up for a good routine in pregnancy!

The Take Away

So there you have it. These were the major things I did to help me conceive. There are many, many things that can contribute to being able or not able to conceive. These are things you may need to add to your regimen or that you are already doing!

Of course, if you ever have any questions, please call your OB/GYN or family doctor and speak with them about your concerns. Many fertility clinics will also provide some free and beneficial information.

I would love for you to comment about what else has worked for other mommas! Of course, once you become pregnant, head over to the Pregnancy tab of my blog and check out the other posts to help you in your pregnancy journey. Starting with “The Ultimate First Trimester Checklist”.

  • 1
  • 2
  • Next Page »

Search the Blog

Hey there, its Brittney!

Portrait of the blog writer, Brittney Housley.

Hello and welcome!
My name is Brittney and I am just an average mom. I have a 7-year-old son and am pregnant with a baby girl!
My amazing husband and I work full time and manage our lifestyles, just like you.
While I am no expert, I am sharing what has worked for my family in hopes that it may practically and realistically work for your family.
About me

Pinterest

Follow @myhouseofhousley

Got all my cloth diapers washed, prepped, and read Got all my cloth diapers washed, prepped, and ready to go! There are some seriously cute prints. Just be prepared for fluffy butt pics a little bit after she is born 😂 
.
.
.
#diapers #cloth #clothdiapers #eco #ecofriendly #ecofamily #mylife #fluffmail #cute #baby #babygirl #babyboyontheway #babyfashion #babylove
Today we got to help volunteer and make food bags Today we got to help volunteer and make food bags to be sent over seas. 
.
We mixed beans, rice, dehydrated veggies, and multivitamin powder into bags. Our table made 144 food bags! And there were tons of other tables and countless volunteers. These will feeds thousands of needy families. 
.
It was great to volunteer as a family and have this time together. Especially before the baby. To teach Dom about helping others and getting out was so great. 
.
We decided today this would be an annual tradition since they hold the event every year. 
.
#volunteer #volunteering #church #givingback #giving #faith #family #myfamily #familylife #together #saturday #saturdaymotivation #love #unity
Dom is excited about his snuggle buddies that came Dom is excited about his snuggle buddies that came in our Time In Toolkits! I had no idea the hummingbird “Love” would actually be his favorite. 
.
Today, we trashed time outs and being sent to his room. We got rid of punishments. 
.
Let me be clear, we didn’t get rid of discipline. Instead we found an amazing system to encourage Doms emotional intelligence and reacting appropriately to his drastic emotions (which happens frequently). 
.
By talking more about ALL of his feelings, even when happy or excited, Dom will feel more empowered to discuss when he is mad and react more appropriately. 
.
Can’t wait to show off our calming corner 😊 @generationmindful 
.
.
.
#snuggle #cutie #hummingbird #love #emotionalhealth #emotionalintelligence #teach #teachingemotions #mentalhealth #generationmindful #teachthemwhiletheyareyoung #mom #momlife #family #familytime
I’m 30 1/2 weeks pregnant....I CANNOT resist @ci I’m 30 1/2 weeks pregnant....I CANNOT resist @cinnabon cinnamon rolls! They are unlike any other. Ugh. 
.
I had to go to the mall to pick up some more plates and bowls for our dining set. I walk by their location as I stare down at my phone; pods in my ear rocking out to 90s EDM. 
.
I legit pass it...stop...and walk backwards towards the counter. That awesome woman talked me into paying $2 more for 15 rolls instead of 9. 6 more for $2!!! Hell yeah!! Oh....you’re good Cinnabon. 
.
You...are....good
.
So I have 14 cinnamon rolls because I ate one immediately upon entering my car in the parking lot. 😂
.
.
.
#pregnant #pregnancy #cravings #preggocravings #musthave #mylife #mylifestyle #dontjudge #preggers #yummy #yum #yummyfood #food #foodporn #sweettooth #sweet #sweets #yes
Happy Valentine’s Day to the love of my life. Th Happy Valentine’s Day to the love of my life. This Valentine’s may have not been the most exciting, but it was perfect because I got to be with you ❤️ we have grown so much in our marriage and I am loving him more and more everyday. Growing our family together and growing our goals and dreams together is more than I could ever hope for. Thank you for the endless support and the constant love. .
.
.
.
#happyvalentinesday #valentine #love #marriage #marriagegoals #married #marriedlife #husbandandwife #dreamteam #teambrave #mylove #loveyou #myhusband
If there is anything I have learned in the last co If there is anything I have learned in the last couple of months, it’s cutting costs on food. Every #friday is #pizza day in our house. Even with some sweet deals and doing carry out, it’s about $20/night!!! 
.
Since making our own crust, it probably costs us $6 to make 2 pizzas 🤑
.
I found a great recipe online and we just use mozzarella cheese, pizza sauce, pepperonis, and green and red peppers. So easy!!!!
.
.
.
#family #familytime #pizzalover #pizzatime #pizzagram #fridays #fridayvibes #fridaymood #meals #familymeals #mom #momlifestyle #momlife

Copyright © 2021 · My House of Housley | Theme by Blog Pixie